Free shippingOn all orders over $150
PAY OVER TIMEwith Sezzle
Send some straightforward birthday wishes with our hilarious "If Only" card. The front features a simple, vintage-style photo with the seemingly innocent phrase, "If Only." The real joke is waiting inside with the bold, cheeky message: "Don't Dick Around. Just Have A Happy Birthday." This card is printed in the USA on FSC-certified, sustainable source pulp and comes with a matching envelope. It’s a perfectly blunt and funny way to tell someone to get on with the celebrating.
Cheeky & Bold Humor: A straightforward and funny birthday message.
Simple Vintage Style: A classic look with an unexpected punchline.
Eco-Friendly: Printed on FSC-certified, sustainable source paper.
Details: 5" x 7" card with envelope; Made in the USA.
We know you're just as excited to receive your order as we
are to package it up and send it your way—because who doesn’t love happy mail?!
At Tootsie Lou’s, we work hard to ship orders as quickly as possible.
While we strive to get everything out the same day, please allow 1–3
business days (excluding weekends and holidays) for processing after your
order confirmation email is received. Once your order ships, you'll get a
shipping notification with tracking details, so you can follow your
package every step of the way—right to your doorstep!
We hope you love every single piece you purchase from
us, but we totally get it—sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s okay!
Because we’re a small business with fast-moving inventory, we do not offer
refunds, but we are happy to issue store credit for eligible
returns.
To qualify for store credit, your return must:
If you're local, feel free to bring your eligible return in-store
to receive store credit directly at the register!
🚨 Please Note:
We’re truly so grateful for every order placed and every customer who chooses to shop with us. Your support of Tootsie Lou’s Boutique means the world to us, and we can’t wait to keep helping you look and feel fabulous!
For more information on our shipping or return policies, please visit our full FAQ section here: Returns and Exchanges – Tootsie Lou’s Boutique or Shipping Policy – Tootsie Lou’s Boutique
Thanks again for shopping small—you’re the best part of Tootsie Lou’s!